Should I leave my current BJJ gym and instructor? This is the question I received from a viewer recently. And it’s a question I was forced to ask myself back in 2007.
It’s a really sad and frustrating moment to reach. I know in my situation. I felt a lot of loyalty and wanted desperately to make things work with my coach. In fact, I left my originally BJJ coach and then came back. And eventually I left for good.
Not because I didn’t like him or that I hated him. It happened because I felt like my Brazilian Jiu-jitsu coach didn’t care and wasn’t really even “there” anymore.
I mean he was there physically. But emotionally and mentally, I felt like he was somewhere else.
This is the situation our friend who sent the question in feels like he has arrived too.
I’ll say it like this guys. The relationship between BJJ coach and student should be based on reciprocity. Teacher gives to the student and in turn the student gives to the teacher. The teacher pours their energy and knowledge into the student. In turn the student pays appreciation through dedication and the dues required by his/her gym.
When one side does not uphold the arrangement. This cycle stops.
The student is not a Brazilian Jiujitsu instructors property. As an instructor we do not own them. So our job is to serve them as best they can.
I would never tell anyone to just up and leave their BJJ coach. But I’ve seen it happen so many times and I’ve been there. Sometimes people become negative and create a toxic environment and it’s not a positive influence on someones life. And when this happens I feel like the coach has lost their way.
Our job as a coach, as I see it, is to provide our students and the people that put their trust in us, with a positive experience. An experience that will provide the students with a good community, good training and a positive place to escape from all the crazy stuff life has to throw at them. In short I run my business in a way where I straddle a line between friendship and business. It’s hard, but I believe it offers my students a great experience and keeps me close to the reasons I love BJJ so much.
I hope the video is helpful to you guys.
-Chewy
